Are You New to this Blog? Click Here to Read My Story that Started it All.

Without neglecting the obvious fact that there are countless who endure far more pain and loss than I have ever known, I will try to detail my story in a way that gives helpful context to this blog. The focus of my writing will be less on my sufferings and more on how God showed Himself Faithful to me.

Mom & Me

Senior Year

Everything looked promising...Top of my class, Co-Captain of the Basketball Team, Lead in the school musical...the list goes on.

Fall 1993:  

Unexplained weakness.  Can't breathe.  Barely walk.  Asthma? no. Constantly Choking. Hands curling.  No more stairs.  Countless doctor visits, needles, tests.  All puzzles and no answers.  My life instantly halted.  Homebound, with no answers, I began my journey.

Spring 1994: 

Hospitals.  A handful of incorrect diagnoses.  Weaker.  Sicker.  Fear of Death.
Excruciating Testing.  Watched my parents cry...that was the most difficult to endure.

Finally a Diagnosis:

Polymyocitis is the name.  No cure is the game.  Only steroids...so many steroids that I would cease to recognize myself.  All this auto-immune, degenerative disease had to offer was weakness, crippled hands, an eventual wheelchair, and a fight for my life.

To sum up the Doctor's prognosis..."The best to hope for is remission.  Forget children.  Forget sports.  Live your life as a disabled person because there's not much we can do."

Remission...Relapse...Remission...Relapse...Repeat...

God...Where are You?  This Hurts!

Far worse than the betrayal of my body was the seeming absence of God.  I knew better than to believe that He had abandoned me, but where was He?  At first, I didn't feel the sting of the disease because I assumed He would just heal me.  Months passed and I only got worse.  The typical questions loomed.  Did I do something wrong?  Do I lack the appropriate amount of faith?  Why is this happening to me?  I have lived my life for you God and this is how it's going to be?  What about so and so? And such and such? I KNOW You  CAN heal me, so WHY AREN'T YOU???????

Just the Beginning:

taken by my hubby "Mr. Wonderful"

Thankfully, this is only the mere beginning of the story.  This wouldn't be much of a read if it were the end. 

 Please understand this: The focus of this blog is not to detail my pain.  My purpose is to set the stage on which God showed Himself Faithful in my life and to encourage you to invite Him to do the same in the midst of your needs.

Enjoy the posts as they come.  Some will highlight the despair I felt, but only to shine more brightly, the splendor of Hope in His Faithfulness.