The Journey of Perseverance

It has been several posts now, and I want to re-insert the scripture that titles this Blog.  This passage so vividly describes many years of my journey through illness.

Psalm 77:19

"Your path led through the sea,

Your way through the mighty waters,

though Your footprints were not seen."

"Staging Ground" - taken by Mr. Wonderful

With fresh faith and a sincere desire for understanding, I began the journey of perseverance. I determined to intentionally live, think, speak and believe what I knew no matter what I saw.  Outwardly, I had become so frail that I spent most of my time home alone while the world passed me by.  This solitude, once my tormenter and constant reminder of grief now transformed into my hiding place of refuge, provided the staging ground for wonderful places in God's presence.

Oh, but did you catch it?  I said my solitude laid a staging ground.  Weeks would pass into months before I began to see the Lord's footprints walking my path with me.

Eagerly, I started my new quest for Hope armed with the familiar tools from my many years raised in Christ.  Like a carefully crafted recipe for miracles, I filled my days with times of worship, reading my Bible, soul-bearing prayer and quiet meditation.  I translated my thoughts and emotions into pages upon pages of journals.  I read books on healing and prayer.

All of this began out of desperate need and pain.  Actions of obedience to what I believed that continued to sharply contrast what I saw and felt. 

"Persistence Through Resistance" - Taken by Mr. Wonderful

I can recall a morning of prayer, very early on in this fresh determination to seek God for breakthrough.  I knelt and wept for what seemed like hours.  I worshiped, prayed the Word and waited in quiet peace, fully aware that He bent His ear to hear my cries.  In that same memory, I think on the next morning when I knelt to pray and felt completely void of anything productive to say or do.  Monotony cruelly taunted me that all was futile and shrouded my imagination of the future. 

How many times could I pray the same prayers, sing the songs, recite the scriptures?

...How long could I wait?

Yet, I stubbornly refused to submit to defeat.  What alternative did I have?  I could not give up.  The ONLY hope I had was to forge ahead.  EVERY day, I unpacked my weapons and wielded them with as much strength as that day could muster.
The pain constantly fought back and challenged my path.  It was difficult.  Draining.  Dry.  Painful.

It seemed pointless.  Exhausting.  It only seemed to magnify my need.

"His footprints were not seen..." 

I'd like to close this post with a song that the Lord gave me much later in my Journey.  It begins with my heart's cry during this deeply painful time of waiting on God to answer.  However, you will see a foreshadowing of the story to come of how God Met Me.

Remember

Remember Your Word to me
You said that You set me free
You promised to use me for Your will
 
And now I am waiting here
In desperate humility
Father I'm asking once again
 

          Fulfill Your Word to me

          Every word to me

          Let the passion of my heart be restored

 

          Fulfill Your Word to me

          I'm lost in the waiting hours

          Lord - You are God!

         You are God!

         Fulfill Your Word

 
I remember the day so free
Your Faithfulness came to me
You promised to make me what You will
 
And now I am waiting here
A moment of frailty
Father I know You're Greater still
 

          Fulfill Your Word to me

          Every word to me

          Let the passion of my heart be restored

 

          Fulfill Your Word to me

          I'm lost in the waiting hours

          Lord - You are God!

         You are God!

         Fulfill Your Word

 
You are God!  You are God!
Everlasting!  Everlasting!
You are God!  You are God!
Everlasting!  Everlasting! 
You don't grow weak. You don't grow weary.
I hope in You.  I wait on You.
Renew my strength for I am weary.
You are God!  You are God!
Fulfill Your Word.


Trust me when I say, HE IS FAITHFUL!  Next time, Oh....I cannot WAIT to tell you how

God Met Me!

 

Have you read all of my posts so far?

• Intro to Paths Through the Sea
• My Story That Started it All
• First, The Pain Weighs In
• The Slimy Pit
• I Cried Unto the Lord

I Cried Unto the Lord



"Perseverance" by Mr. Wonderful



This post tells of my heart's cry to the only One who could rescue me

from both disease of the body and distress of the soul.







Psalm 18:6 (NIV)

"In my distress I called to the Lord;
    I cried to my God for help.
From his temple he heard my voice;
    my cry came before him, into his ears."

 

The mounting years of waiting for healing and answers conflicted daily with my foundation of faith.  I identified with David's petitions to God for deliverance, refuge and strength.



"In you, Lord, I have taken refuge;
    let me never be put to shame.
² In your righteousness, rescue me and deliver me;
    turn your ear to me and save me.
³ Be my rock of refuge, to which I can always go;
give the command to save me, for you are my rock and my fortress...

⁵ ...For you have been my hope, Sovereign Lord,
    my confidence since my youth."

                                                                                                           - Psalm 71:1-5

In 2002, entrenched in bible college and in ministry, I believed the worst was behind me...Then, another relapse caught me off guard.  I delayed medical treatment as long as possible to avoid the medication's side effects and suffered greatly for my pride.  What I labeled faith became stubborn arrogance as I attempted to force the Almighty to heal me.

Thank God for His precious grace and mercy, even in my greatest hour of childishness! 

By Divine Appointment, I bought a book called "Praying God's Word" by Beth Moore. 
[I HIGHLY recommend this as a resource to anyone!] 
 

In her book, Beth translates the scriptures into personal prayers for the reader to apply to various trials and battles of life.  Through her teaching and use of Scripture like a weapon, I finally got a foothold on the wall of the pit. 

I confronted the reality of my situation with the Truth of His Word and held on for dear life.  He responded with a lifeline and lifted me out of the pit and onto a path.

Still, the trial remained...but I began to change.

My Turning Point
 On a day like so many before, I sat at home - alone, weak and struggling, studying God's Word for hope and answers.  Instead, I found questions in Romans 5.

^3" Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings,

because we know that suffering produces perseverance;

 ⁴ perseverance, character; and character, hope.

 ⁵ And hope does not disappoint us,

because God has poured out his love into our hearts

by the Holy Spirit, whom He has given us."

I understood how suffering produces perseverance and perseverance, character...

But how in the world does character produce hope? 

Curiosity got ahold of me.

I had tasted suffering.  Against my will I was learning perseverance.  The next monument on my journey read "Character" and I had no idea how it would lead to what I felt slipping through my fingers... "Hope." 

In that moment of awakening, I realized the whole of my circumstances laid right before me in this one verse...

My Path: 

Suffering --Perseverance --Character--Hope

My Destination: 

God's love poured out into my heart

My Guide:  Holy Spirit

Although the trial raged and I outwardly grew weaker and more frail, my inner man, now free of the bondage of despair, began a quest toward something greater. 

I felt alive with anticipation at the mysteries that laid ahead of me. 

...More on those 'mysteries' next time!

In the opening of 'The Slimy Pit', I remarked that "the descent into and the battle out of Despair remain constant."  Although the thought of fighting for freedom from the depths of sorrow seems overwhelming and discouraging, I want to spark a glimmer of anticipation in you as you read this post.

 

Yes, the path out of the pit is a battle...

 But that battle is the staging ground for miracles, victory, triumph, joy that leaves you speechless and a fresh awakening of your soul to the true essence of hope!!!! 

 

 

Your key to these glorious, promised spoils of war?...
You cannot win...

Without the supernatural, unmatched power that raised Jesus Christ from the dead, you cannot overcome the pit. 

The pit is designed by your unseen adversary to entrap you beyond your own strength to clamor out of its grasp.  Only the One Whom the grave could not bury has the weaponry and strength this battle will require.

 “Listen...!

This is what the Lord says to you:

 ‘Do not be afraid or discouraged because of this vast army.

 For the battle is not yours, but God’s."

- 2 Chronicles 20:15

 

Undoubtedly, you now wonder "How then, do I fight a battle that I cannot win?"

 You cry out to the Lord...Your Champion.

 

 

 

 

More on the Journey of Perseverance coming Soon!

 

Have you read all of my Posts so far?

 

• Intro to Paths Through the Sea

• My Story that Started It All

• First, The Pain Weighs In

• The Slimy Pit